Forgive me.....

Broken is my heart into million pieces
Burnt is my body into billion ashes
Even then my soul keeps breathing
Juz for the dears forgiveness its waiting
#MusingMondays

When you say nothing at all

When you say nothing at all
I feel something is wrong
I feel like asking you to hold my hand
Feel my love
Let us vanish from this world of misery
And fly to the sky so vast
Just you and me

:D                                                 

No more words.. look into my eyes
Come on now dont waste time lets fly high
High up above in the air

P.s :- This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

Bright yellow flowers... :D

From delhi with dream... to mandi with memories... a road trip :)

Deep down somewhere hidden in the memories of me lies a road trip that I dreamed of after completing my graduation...
But it happened to be more memorable than what I dreamed of...
                           It was nearly 10am. And I suddenly got a call from the volkswagen showroom saying that the passat I booked was expected to get delivered by 2pm in the afternoon. I was so excited and took my friends sanjay and tej along with me. To take my new german black monster onto the lush black roads of india.
                         As my parents live near himachal, we decided to surprise my parents directly taking it near them, as they never knew that their eldest son would buy a german car for them. My dad who works for the indian governement never owned a car but he always used to say.."my elder son will be so successful that he will be able to afford a car"
                       We 1st took the car to a near by church and got it blessed. Both of my friends were so happy for me as I was the 1st one to dare a buy worth 20lakh. They never asked me for a treat rather asked me for a road trip. We went to the petrol bunk and got my monster's stomach filled... and started for himachal.
                       Mandi was the place where my parents live which is nearly 500km away from delhi. It was nearly 5.30pm and we finally enterd the national highway 1 (NH1) from the bye pass crossing our old college which took back us to our memories and the car to the destination
                   We started discussing about the performance of the car and we changed turns in driving for the 1st experience. We once rolled back our college days when we used to dream of racing in ferrari's on the same road walked miles on our foot laughing, fighting, discussing.. what not everything friends can do on roads.
                   Me, sanjay and tej were best buddies since our childhood days and we grew up together in the same school same college but in different companies as of now. Remembered everything in our road trip our childhood memories they both slept and i was left alone thinking and driving on the highway till my car reached a place.. very special to me
                chandigarh... the city of pride.. which left me the memory of my 1st love 1st kiss and my 1st party. Stopped in sector 68 we had a nice shake from a local parlour... and got my beast refilled again till its stomach reached its brim again. As I passed through the easy phase of the journey now its time for me to even ride on the most difficult roads in the country. NATIONAL HIGHWAY 21
                It was nearly 50km passed from chandigarh and was already night we decided to have our dinner in between the way. While turning onto the road which leads to mandi suddenly came a truck racin towards my brand new car. The things went upside down. Every milli second I tried to steer it away from the truck was like a millenia for me. It raced like a train on a track without even changing its path... those 5 secs I was blank... closed my eyes and just steered it away from the disaster thats ahead of me.
             It passed away and I stopped my vehicle on the road parked it and came out... emotions were so strongly filled in my heart at that time that I yelled out loud into the valley thats beside us. Sanjay came out shouting "wtf!!" I was yelling like a mad man left in a jungle. Tej came calmed me down and we were back to journey again.
           As am not used to these roads driving tej took incharge of driving and we were speaking about our current situaions.. as for me now im in love with someone who is 7 years elder to me... and I revealed it to them during discussion. They were so shocked and speechless that they started to stare at me. I said "life is not about finding someone, but finding someone who can love you atmost" they were congratulating me as we completed our dinner and went on the final yet more pain taking roads of the country.
          I called up my dad at 1am in the night and asked if he could stay awake for a while speaking to me. As we moved slowly on the ghat roads of himachal we reached mandi... welcomed by the temple of bhiuli we stopped I front of our small yet cute home on the edge of the mountain so high... I asked dad to come out once on the phone.
        As he opened the door I hugged him and the tears rolled down my eyes. Dad asked what hapened. And I kept the keys in his hand and said dad this is for you. He was in complete dielama and happiness that he didnot even sleep for whole night. But sitting with us and laughing..
        The next day when mom woke up early in morning she was surprised to see our new family member and felt really happy... atleast in my life I fulfilled a dream of my dad as I never did what he wanted from me. And happines I saw in their eyes was something I call "priceless"
The memories that I remembered, the gift that I gifted my dad, the ride with my friends, the near miss with thetruck in between, the truth that I revealed to my friends, and the dream come true for me and my dad has made this trip most memorable. "The best road trip ever"
         The car might worth lakhs... which i earned sweating. But happiness you see in your parents when their dreams come true because of their son/daughter is PRICELESS
Dream and let it come true
Sweat and let it come for you
Run until it stops for you
Beat until its happy for you

p.s :- this post is written under the IndiBlogger contest of  Ambipur The Perfect Road Trip

A re birth....

Blew the wind so hard in my heart
Deep inside which is torn apart
Angony was what I left with
Showed the dreams there is nothing but death

Shattered were my dreams like a mirror so fragile
Washed were my plans like a flood to the nile
Robbed was the smile and the life so high
Dropped were the feelings and everything became a lie

Came you into my life then I feared
Loosing again  might hurt me dear
Slowly recoverd from that poisonous bite
So slow it was like a fight

Worth it were you and your love
Worth it were you and our care
No matter how I fear
Not my life but loosin you dear

Into the life Im back again
No more I felt that vigourous pain
Doom became bloom and fear as a flaw
Still yet again In this earth I grew

May be a re birth your heart gave me
May be a boon the god gave me
Yet I feel again as a lucky charm
Till I die.. for you here I'm

These words are dedicated to some one whom I imagined all through my life... just for her and not for any one more....

#StrugglingSunday

# live... dont survive.. #tgif

Come out of the river of life
Give your self some space
Go out see some new place
Let your heart relax and make it feel safe...

#TGIF  

MADHU MATHI………………(A suspense till the moment)






                     Listening to this name I still feel very sad.  I met this girl on Facebook. In the first meet itself I found that girl too interesting. And I said that girl the same thing that I’m interested in you.
   
                     I still don’t know why mark zukerberg started Facebook. Its too weird for you all but I took that girl very seriously. And on the first chat itself I said her that “madhu don’t mind me saying that I have a fb crush on you”
She replied me “haha….. thanx but keep it on fb only”
From that day onwards I literally  tried to talk to her everyday on fb. For no reason I used to wish her thrice a day trying to impress her. She was by my side for many days. In between suddenly entered another guy Ch****.
            

                      One day it was nearly 10pm in the night and as usually I’m on fb commenting with friends in our secret group. Suddenly ch**** asked me “do you like madhu” to change the topic I said “what else”. The topic became worse so,much worse that I cant control my tears… I was into tears when he said “I love madhu and even she likes me”.. I didn’t get any word to talk to him… I cried the whole night. I mailed her at 3am in the morning that

“madhu understand me please. I don’t think what chetan said is true. I believe in you. And guess why would I mail you at this time in the night for no reason. I need to talk to you I LOVE YOU. I cant live without you. And I think you can understand me. I wont sleep eat till you reply
If you really love ch**** then I’m out. If any problem I’ll help you guys. Trust me +919963***197 is my number. Call me if you have any problem
Miss you madhu
Awaiting your reply ******”

                     Then I cried and cried and cried for the rest of the day till 5pm in the evening of the next day. Then madhu replied me


****** what happened to you ;0 ?? I’m not in love with an one. Whatever ch**** said is false. And I’m sorry on behalf of him.please go and eat something please
Also once again give your number. Am sorrie if have done anything wrong with you
Miss you too
~madhu mathi~ “


Right at 6pm she called me up saying “eat something please I’m sorry”
I replied “whos dis?” (as I don’t know that its madhu)
She replied “stupid it’s me madhu”
We had a conversation for like 3hours from then….
After that the days passed and a day came which I was provoked again by ch****.
Then I texted her “ madhu I LOVE YOU and I don’t want to leave you in my life “
She replied me “ thank you for loving me ******. But really its not possible for me now as I don’t have feelings on any one right now”
I said “ok”

And then days passed again for nearly 2 weeks and a day came 
That day I asked her “will you marry me”
She said “well I don’t know”
I asked her what are the qualities you want in your dream boy !!
She said 11 secrets to me (night at 10:30pm)
And then she said I’ll say the rest next time
I said “please don’t say these to anyone”
She said “ok”
Guess what ??
It was her last text……………………….
Next day I tried to call her and I called her up exactly 54 times. She didn’t lift the call.

At that time ch**** texted me that “madhu gave her mobile to her dad”
he have no words……………….. (It’s nearly 6:30pm)
he cried in the church(it’s lent season). I got no words for anyone to say.
he waited the whole night for the text reply, mail, call.
And after some time I called her up and the phone started saying “the number is unavailable”
I cried the whole night thinking of her, her fun, her surround, her texts.
Whatever, even now I’m writing with my wet eyes

                                                                                                         -yours ******


LESSON - from this incident did he really understood that he should’nt take everything to heart… but no use in my case. he really love her and he can’t really leave her in the middle.
Guys please suggest me what should he do now ?
Do you think am he correct or wrong ?
Do you think Madhu will call me back ?
I sincerely think she won’t………….. but some day or the other she will…
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